Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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