Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
