Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
