Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
