Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
