Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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