Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
