Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Watching her eat just hurts me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize