i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
