she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
bring money and cleavage
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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