No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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