There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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