We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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