She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
