ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
