I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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