Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize