yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
