hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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