quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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