ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
