OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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