I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A bitchslap is in order.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
