Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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