I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
