just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
