I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
