am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize