Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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