Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
