grandma shit on top of the toilet
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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