Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
