come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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