You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
