I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
