he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
