i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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