Whod you bang
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
