i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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