god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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