32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
