I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
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The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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