You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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