Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
