Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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