Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
