apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
