she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
wow bdsm is so cute
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