I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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