And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
