I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
