Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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