On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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