whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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