Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
