I'm really into asian looking animals
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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