Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
