so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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