i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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