I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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