He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
