First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
