It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
