I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
