Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rfountain hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

actually, I'm a sock model

Fav 4 1924 1042
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

Fav 43 1041 6707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.

Fav 12 4820 823
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

Fav 27 1380 4482
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

Fav 19 3283 6282
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

Fav 24 2703 3708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.

Fav 9 2043 1206
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.

(410): View more from Maryland

Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.

(443): View more from Maryland

Deal.

Fav 1 90 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked

Fav 0 48 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT