She's JV to your varsity
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize