I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
